tired of life

There are one or 2 more week till the mission day, can i accomplish the mission objective this time? well....my minds suddenly appear a lot of question marks recently i start to doubt about am i able to fulfills my parent hopes, as a eldest child in a small family is not easy but i still have to accept the destiny,i do not dare to think what is my parent reaction if i have fail their expectation...am i able to satisfy my own requirement i set up for myself, am i?? am i able to withstand the pressure and the coming challenge , am i the one to her? am i?? i don't know ......i m tired of all of these .....
i am tired of everything.i just want a rest, not a holiday....is a rest that can make those thing out of my mind temporally .....is this really life?? is this really my life?? if yes...then my ideal life would just like the ideal gas in physic, too much of assumption....i am tired of fighting alone ,am i??i don't know how long i can stand on my own,but i know i cant fall down...if i fall down,too much of people would be hurt.I really do need a short rest....a short period of time i can let a all those burden down from my shoulder....a rest after a long walk is necessary...