A new event of my life....

I have fail for 5 times,and i can say i have experienced through all of them...they are not a very good memories of mine...but recently the feel come back, and i start to panic....at the situation i dont know what i should do.....because i m afraid of this feel it make ppl happy,sad or even go mad....but i know that this is true, the feeling is true....i dont know how long i can hold this feeling .....and i just hope...it will be something better ....just hope this feeling wont bring me down again..