tired of life

There are one or 2 more week till the mission day, can i accomplish the mission objective this time? well....my minds suddenly appear a lot of question marks recently i start to doubt about am i able to fulfills my parent hopes, as a eldest child in a small family is not easy but i still have to accept the destiny,i do not dare to think what is my parent reaction if i have fail their expectation...am i able to satisfy my own requirement i set up for myself, am i?? am i able to withstand the pressure and the coming challenge , am i the one to her? am i?? i don't know ......i m tired of all of these .....
i am tired of everything.i just want a rest, not a holiday....is a rest that can make those thing out of my mind temporally .....is this really life?? is this really my life?? if yes...then my ideal life would just like the ideal gas in physic, too much of assumption....i am tired of fighting alone ,am i??i don't know how long i can stand on my own,but i know i cant fall down...if i fall down,too much of people would be hurt.I really do need a short rest....a short period of time i can let a all those burden down from my shoulder....a rest after a long walk is necessary...

Mission 11.11

新的‘任务’已经接到了，呵呵..........因为exam是在十一月十一号所以我把它叫做任务11.11 .......还真块快，不管怎样这次的任务中我真的不希望再像上次一样.......我知道不容易，我会尽力......还是一样的问题吧，由于对化学没什么兴趣，就是提不起劲去了解........数学和物理都是我的fav所以都还好.........PA嘛.....Aiyaya.......普普通通........现在的生活视乎越来越累，我也不知道我靠什么撑到现在的，是以前的我.......早就到下了,家里也出现了一些问题.......不知道是不是人真的会在艰难中成长.......发觉自己，比以前更坚强了..........不管怎样也是一年半罢了，我一定要撑下去！！而且我开始了解“the one who live through the hardness and happiness ，is the one who understand the meaning of life''这句话了.......其实，身边还是有很多快乐的事,所一都不至于那么残。还有很多朋友的鼓励和支持......^_^谢谢lunas GENG整天陪我去吃东西....haha，吃东西是我解压的方法....还好我吃不肥....(目前为止).....好吧，该停下来继续我的journey了.....

A new event of my life....

I have fail for 5 times,and i can say i have experienced through all of them...they are not a very good memories of mine...but recently the feel come back, and i start to panic....at the situation i dont know what i should do.....because i m afraid of this feel it make ppl happy,sad or even go mad....but i know that this is true, the feeling is true....i dont know how long i can hold this feeling .....and i just hope...it will be something better ....just hope this feeling wont bring me down again..